Sunday, August 30, 2009

Left me wanting more

Let me start off by saying that I LOVE SUNDAY'S! Once again I was woken up by my husband saying hey baby. LOVE THAT! It just puts me in the best mood. We talked for about 4 hours, and then he had to go to lunch chow. When they got back he called me again but we only got to talk for 5 minutes. He said that "senior" was there and was not happy about there scores on shooting, so he wanted them to practice today. He said that if they don't bring up their scores that he is going to take away their cell phones until the end of BCT, and instead of having free time they will have to toe the line.... Basically that is standing in a line in the barracks for an hour instead of getting to take a shower or write any letters. That would BLOW! They have to take a test on Wednesday and it is a requirement to pass BCT. If you fail, you get recycled. That would SUCK! So he was mad that we didn't get to talk as long, I mean we did talk for 4 hours but would of been nice to talk longer. I tried to pep him up and say that he was stressin about passing BRM and practice is the only way that he is going to get any better so it sucked but it was ok.... When we hung up it just left me wanting more. Thankful for the four hours yes, but love it when we get to talk all day long. Say a little prayer for the guys in his platoon...hope they all pass and get to show their DS what they are all about. Can't really expect to be really good at it when you spend all day at the range, but you only get to shoot for 30 or 45 minutes. There are over 250 guys in his company and everyone has to have a turn shooting. I will be praying for them but the more the merrier.
The kids and I did a whole lot of nothing today. They played and played and played, every little game they could come up with in their mind, they played. I did 5 loads of laundry...still have another bucket to do, but I will probably do that tomorrow with Chloe. Then I go to the Dr. on Tuesday. They are going to refer me to another Dr. that can take out my IUD. I am really excited about getting it taken out but really nervous at the same time....I have read that it is easier to get it taken out than put in, so I really hope that is true! Have to get the kids ready for bed and get ready for another week...Peace out!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Soldiers Creed

Jeramy recited this to me and then wrote it to me...I think it's just sexy!

I am an American Soldier
I am a warrior and a member of a team
I serve the people of the United States and live the army values
I will always place the mission first
I will never accept defeat
I will never quit
I will never leave a fallen comrade
I am disciplined physically and mentally tough, trained and proficient in my warrior tasks and drills
I always maintain my arms, my equipment and myself
I am an expert and a professional
I stand ready to deploy, engage, and destroy the enemies of the United States of America in close combat
I am a guardian of freedom and the American way of life
I am an American Soldier!

That is just sexy to me.... Get it baby boy!

Thoughts 8-26-09

So I got a letter from my hubby today. I love getting letters from him! He wrote it while he was in the woods. They have to do a land navigation course. Basically they go out with their equipment, compass and a map. The drill Sgt. goes out and puts flags out in the deep woods. They have to go as a team, read the map and find the flags. They found them, of course they rocked it out. He is in the best platoon. There are four of them and they have games against each other to see who the best platoon is. Well two of them don't have any flags, one of them has 2 and Jeramy's platoon has 4 flags! HELL YEAH! That is why they get so many privileges...because they rock! On Sunday he got to call me early in the morning. We are talking 5 something in the morning... Saturday night was Shannon's party so when he called I was passed out still drunk. He said in the letter that I was mumbling hahahah Well shit he woke me up from a dead sleep after drinking the who night before. It felt really good to be able to wake up two days in a row with a phone call from him saying hey baby. LOVED IT! It just put me in such a good mood for the rest of the day. This week they are learning how to shoot their weapon.... He tells me every time I call it a gun that it isn't a gun, it's a weapon hahahahha They are officially in white phase. They have I guess two and a half more weeks of white phase and then it is on to Blue phase. When he gets to blue phase I can send him food and stuff. One of the guys wives already sent cookies. The first Sgt. came in and told them that they weren't allowed to have stuff like that until blue phase, but when he left their drill Sgt. let them have them. Jeramy said they were the best damn cookies lol. He told me that when he gets to blue phase he wants me to send 120 brownies so that all the guys can have two. Or he said to buy 56 king size candy bars for them. Of course I will do it because it makes me feel good to be able to get stuff for him and send it to him. Makes me feel like I am doing my wifely duties hahahhaha I really hope that he gets to call me on Sunday again. I try really hard not to get my hopes up about him calling, but you know how that works out. So far the longest I have gone without talking to him was two weeks. He called me almost a week after he left and then I didn't hear from him for a little over two weeks. But since then I have talked to him every week. He called me that Monday after those two weeks and we talked for over 2 hours. Then he called me the next weekend but we only got to talk for 15 minutes. Then this past weekend we talked off and on for 7 hours..... That is what I'm talking about. I kind of felt guilty because he called on Saturday while I was at Shannon's party. I got up there and set everything else up. I saw pretty much everyone else get there and then around 8:45 Jeramy called me back. Well of course I went outside and talked to him until he had to get off the phone, it ended up being an hour and half. So I missed Shannon getting there, but after I got off the phone with him I went in and told everyone what I was doing. I'm sorry I know it was a party for one of my besties but I don't get to bullshit with my husband like everyone else does. Every time that he calls I don't know when the next time he is going to get to call or for how long. He has been gone for over a month so I am going to take every chance I get to talk to him for as long as I can. I think everyone understands though. It's not like I can say hey babe, let me call you back lol......
Last night sucked for sleeping. I laid the kids down, and I was in bed with the t.v. turned off by 10:30.... Finally at 12:30 I got pissed off so I got up and wrote Jeramy a letter. My mind was racing with different things so I just wrote it all down to him. (he likes it, he told me to write as much as I can and about everything and everyone) It ended up being 4 pages long...By the time I was finished and laid back down in bed it was 2 something.... then I had to get up at 6:15 to wake the kids up. Chloe got here about 7:35 or so. I took the kids to school and then her and I came back here. We took my mom to the airport to get my dads truck and she passed out in the car. Amanda didn't end up getting here until 1:15 - 1:30...some where around there. She said when I first started watching them that she would be here around 12:30 - 12:45...but that has slowly gotten later and later. So needless to say I was ready for her to get here to I could crash out before I had to go get the kids. After they left I set my alarm for 2:35. It took me about 30 minutes to fall asleep so I really only slept for 30 minutes, but damn it felt good! Anyways....gonna go try to sleep. I guess with Jeramy not being here I won't sleep good until he gets back. Then hopefully I won't sleep good for a long time because we are planning on having a baby Peace out Bitches!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Kids first day of school

Yesterday was the kids first day back at school. They both were really excited about it. I woke them up at 6:20. Got them ready and we actually got ready pretty quickly. We waited around here until 7:40 to see if Amanda dropped of Chole. She didn't so we were off to school. We parked and walked into Corey. Since we got there early we had to wait for the bell to ring so we could go to the classes. Zoei was first, so she lead the know how us girls are lol Got to her classroom and she went and sat down. I of course took a couple of pictures. He looked so cute in her new clothes. We said out good bye's and I guess I can no longer give her kisses in front of her friends. So we did a high five lol..... Zane was like can we go now mom. So we were off to second grade. He was excited but kind of nervous at the same time. We walked in and there were a couple of people from last year that he knew, so that made it easier. He sat across from a girl who was in Kindergarten and first grade with him, then she was held back in first grade, so they are now in the same class. I took a couple of pictures of him and knew I wasn't getting a kiss from him so we did another high five, and I was off. They are so grown.... They just seem so ready to take on the school year. I'm glad they are looking forward to it. They both made a couple of new friends the first day which is always good. I am sure by the end of the week there will be a lot of new names.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Saturday Aug. 22,2009

Man oh Man, I could stare at this picture all day long everyday! Damn that is a sexy man! So glad I get to call him my husband. Yesterday was just amazing. I was woken up at 7:15 to the phone ringing. I answered it and this voice said, Hey baby..... Do you know how long it has been since I was woken up by his voice? Way too long. But anyways, instant smile on my face. We talked for about an hour and a half while he was doing his laundry. That still tickles me that he does his own laundry. Then his battle buddy wanted to use his phone so we said our good bye's not knowing if we would get to talk again or not. Well during our first conversation he told me that he got permission for me to send him his phone. So when we got off the phone, I went up to walmart and bought a box and bubble wrap. Well while I was in walmart my phone rings again, and it is him again. I was walking around walmart just beaming...I know people were thinking what is she so damn happy about. We talked that time for about 15 minutes then he had to get off to go to lunch chow. I finish up at walmart and go to the post office, then head to my parents house to get the kids. I tell my mom all about our conversation, and then the kids and I leave. On the way home I get another phone call from him. This time his DS gave him permission to go to the pay phone. He only gets 15 minutes because they have to be somewhere at 1430...that tickles me too that he doesn't say 230 anymore. Not more than 5 minutes after we got off the phone that time it rings again. His battle buddy had already called his parents and grandmother and asked Jeramy if he wanted to use his phone. Well Jeramy says hell yeah and calls me again. We talk this time for almost 3 hours. It felt so good to just be able to bullshit with him. Our first conversations we had already talked about what he had been doing and everything. So this time around we talked about just things that have happened in life. I was telling him about how I got our insurance card and I am going to set up a Dr.'s appointment for the first part of September. He asked me if I was going to get my IUD taken out. I told him that I wanted to but I wanted to ask him about it. I didn't want to do it without talking to him about it. He said that he was alright with me getting it taken out and laughed about how he was going to get me pregnant when I see him in 38 days. I asked him if he was really ready for it, and he said that he never thought that this military would train him or make him ready to be a daddy, but it has happened and he is ready. He said he is use to getting only 3 or 4 hours of sleep a night, when he has to report for fire duty he has to get out of bed and get ready and report in 10 minutes. I told him that it will really depend on how fast my body gets rid of the chemical the IUD puts off...Some people get pregnant the first month and others it takes a year. We will see but I am so happy that we have finally had this talk and are really going to do something about it. About 3 years ago, Jeramy asked me if I would or if I was ready to have his baby. I said yes, but we never did anything about it. Then he was just okay with adopting the kids...I was kind of okay with not having anymore babies. But we are now both wanting to have another one. Anyways we were talking and he told me how good it was to hear me laugh. Felt really good to get to talk to him for that long. The time came that he had to get off the phone to go to dinner chow. We said our good bye's and I got ready for Shannon's party. I get to the bar and get it all set up and about 8:45 my phone rings again. I answer it and it is my husband once again! I went outside and at first I was standing out there talking to him. But then he told me that he had the phone until 11:20 his time so 10:20 our time. I got my keys and went out to the car, turned on the a/c and we started talking again. We talked until it was time for him to get off, and I went back in the bar. This morning at 5 something my phone rings, and I get woken up again to Jeramy saying Hey baby... We only got to talk for about 15 minutes because another DS came in and they had to go do some things... I am so thankful for our time on the phone..... After being really down in the dumps this past week, it was what I needed, it was what he needed. He got a guy to take a pic of him and send it to my phone.... I was I guess surprised when I saw the pic. Just the look in his eyes shows how proud of himself he is. I am so proud of him too

Friday, August 21, 2009

Reflection on my life....Long one!

With everything going so well in my life, I started thinking about where I have been in my life. There is a crazy road that I have been on to get me where I am today. Regrets, not at all. Everything that has happened to me and everything that I have been through has made me the person that I am today. Quite frankly I love the person that I am today.
Where do I begin lol. I guess we will start back at the beginning of me joining the circus. I got with my ex husband when I was 14 years old. December of 1997. Damn that makes me feel old lol When I was 17 years old I decided that I knew everything about life and moved out of my parents house. We are talking the day after I turned 17 I moved. I moved in with my ex husband and the drugs came into our lives. I was already doing coke, but having the freedom of no parents around we got really bad into it. Eight months later I was pregnant with my son. We got a place out in the country. We were working on a dairy farm. Yup you got it right, 4 months pregnant out there herding up cows, milking cows, driving tractors feeding the cows and to haul off dead cows. I had never pictured myself being a country girl, but damn it I sure was one. In Jan. of 2001 we moved from Gun Barrel City back here to Arlington. Got our first apt. and were getting ready for the arrival of our son. Zane Nathaniel made his grand entrance into this world Monday, May 14,2001 at 5:36pm. ON JERAMY'S BIRTHDAY! WOW! It was crazy to me how for one my body just went through what it went through, and two how this mother thing just kicked in. Bringing Zane home was the biggest slap of reality in my face. The crying at all hours of the night, all the diapers, the breast feeding, the spitting up, the husband telling me he wasn't going to help he couldn't breastfeed so for me to basically screw off...etc. I could go on and on. Anyways, he came home May 17, 2001, and by June 2001 Kyle had yet again lost his job and we were getting evicted out of our apt. When my son was a month old we moved into a motel on division street. We ended up staying there for a few weeks until one of my friends moved us into her apt. She had no idea what she was getting herself into. By that time we were using crystal meth. I hate admitting this but it's the truth so if I am going to tell the story I have to tell all of it. We ended up moving our meth dealer into the apt. we were staying in. BAD IDEA!! But all we were thinking of is having more dope. Within a month or so we left that apt. and got one of our own. This was maybe Sept. or Oct. of 2001. When we got the apt. basically all hell broke loose. We were staying up three and four days at a time, going on binges and then just crashing. We were dealing crap out of our apt. so we had the most wonderful people in and they were the scum of the earth. By May of 2002 we were getting evicted out of that apt for not paying our rent. Kyle had gone through many many jobs during this time, and never kept one of them. I was so hooked on dope that I let Kyle take Zane with him. Hate that I let that happen, but when you are hooked on that shit you will do anything because you are not in your right mind. They moved in with another girl and I moved in with the dope dealer. Well he was staying at a house with a lady who had three kids. That place was crazy! I remember feeling so sorry for her kids because they were old enough to know what was going on, but I was so hooked that I still did it. Sad, Sad, Sad. During that time I was using my dads truck. Well I left with the dope dealer one time in his girlfriends car, yeah.... anyways I left my dads truck there. Well the lady I was living with got pissed off that we didn't come back for a day or so. She got someone to try to hot wire my dads truck. Did she really think that someone who was tweaking there ass off was going to be able to do it, regardless she tried and screwed up my dads truck. After a month or so of living there and this happening to my dads truck I had moved again into another dope heads house. It was during that time that I found out that CPS had gotten involved because my ex husband had told people that he was living behind a dumpster with Zane. Not true at all because he was living with a girl. But the thing about my ex husband is he always makes things bigger and badder than they really are to use people. Whatever story he can come up at the time to get what he wants he says. I got a call from my ex husband telling me that his mom had temporary custody of my son. I lost it. I won't go into details his mother isn't the best person at all....period point blank not a good person. The day that I found out she had my son, I quit doing dope. I still stayed up three days after that because of all the crap I had put in my body. My ex husband and I talked and decided to get back together. I got the girl I was living with to take me back down to Gun Barrel City. My ex husband had moved back down there and was living with his aunt and uncle and there three kids. When he moved in with them he moved his girlfriend, and there two friends also. So when I got back to Gun Barrel City I moved into a three bedroom house that already had 9 people living in it. I made 10.... I thought that was the only way to get my son back. After being there for a few weeks the girlfriend and her friends had moved out and my mom got temporary custody of Zane. We would go in the house to take showers and use the bathroom and eat but my ex husband and I were living in a tent in their backyard. We got into a fight with his family and they kicked us out of they tent hahahhahaha basically we were homeless. Kyle at the time was working at a burger king. We walked up to the burger king, which in the country is a LONG WAY. Somehow he talked a girl he worked with into letting us live with her. She lived with her mom and sister, so we moved in. We were both clean for a long time because we were trying to get custody of our son back. We saved up enough money and got yet another apt. It was one of the things we had to do to get him back. Anyways during this time I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. We went through my whole pregnancy doing drug test, marriage counseling, every hoop you can imagine we had to go through trying to get Zane back. But I was willing to do whatever I had to do to get him back. All of our efforts paid off because we got custody of him. After we got him back my husband at the time decided that he didn't want to be with me anymore and kicked me out of the apt. We in our twisted way "worked it out" and within a day or so I was back living with him. During this time I caught him in bed with another woman. Not the first time he cheated but it was the first time I caught him in bed. And this is when all of the fights happened. We had always verbally had wars but this is when the hitting and punching started happening. We use to fight SO MUCH! He would pull me through the apt by my hair, we are talking me on the ground and him dragging me by my hair. All while my little precious son watched. In Jan. of 2003, we were evicted out of that place and I took my son and moved in with my mom. Kyle was once again hooked on dope and moved in with some people. He was using all day long everyday. Taking everything he could get his hands on. We fought and fought and fought..... The biggest fight I remember this time is he had been up for three or four days. He had taken a few hits of acid, was smoking meth, and had taken some pills...some kind of downers. He was out of his mind. He was so convinced that there were people on the roof top trying to shoot us. Zane and I had to hid under blankets and shit. Somehow I pissed him off, I don't really remember but here went another one of our physical fights. I was 8 months pregnant with my daughter and he was beating the crap out of me. You know the window sills, well he was banging my head against one of those... all I could do was curl up in a ball because I was pregnant and I didn't want him to hit or kick my belly and hurt the baby. Once again my son watched...there were people in the living room, but no one came to help me out. I somehow got out of there with my son and went home to my mom. March 23,2003 a day before I was scheduled to go into the hospital and have my daughter my ex husband and his friend decided it would be a good idea to steal a huge amount of dope. Well everyone knew that I was going to the hospital the next day to have my daughter. So we got the hospital Monday March 24,2003. I was trying to focus on the task at hand lol, giving birth to my daughter all while my world was going crazy. My ex husband was doing dope in the hospital room, well in the bathroom while I was in labor. The people that he stole the crap from were calling up to the hospital telling everyone that they were going to kill me and Zoei, who at the time was still in my belly. I had to be put on the list where no one knows that you are there, I couldn't get any flowers or anything because anytime something was sent up there or someone called to see if I was in that hospital they told them I wasn't there. My mom and sister had to be escorted out of the hospital by cops, or a security guard...I forgot which one, but basically for their safety they had to be escorted out. Three days later we left the hospital and the kids and I went to my moms house. My ex husband was living in the waffle house parking lot in our car. Once he ran out of dope he decided to go back to Gun Barrel City. When my daughter was 5 or 6 months old we moved back in with him. He was living in a house with his grandfather so we moved in with him. It was a little two bedroom one bathroom house in the country. All four of us lived in one room. My ex husband actually got a job and kept it. He got it maybe the beginning of 2004. He got TB from working in the warehouse and was put in the hospital. For two weeks he was there and I was at home with the kids. For the first time in 7 years I was alone. Didn't have the drama or my ex husband up my ass. I really started thinking about my life and why I was still there. I realized that I was there because for once he was doing everything right. He was working and I got to stay at home with my kids. But then I beat myself up with do I stay and keep my family together. My parents still being married, I really thought that kids need a mommy and a daddy together. Regardless of how miserable I was, I made my bed and basically I needed to lay in it for the sake of my kids. I went back and forth for three months. Do I stay or do I go? During the 7 years I was with my husband I always thought about Jeramy. Where he was and what he was doing. My mom and I called it my Jeramy On March 19,2003 Tabitha and I went our drinking. We got drunk and decided that night we should try and find Rory and Jeramy. We got the phone book at the bar and started looking up Rory. We knew that if we found him we would find Jeramy. Rory the whole time we knew him always had different numbers. We really didn't think we would find him in the phone book, and if we did it sure as hell wouldn't be the right number. Well we found his number and called it from the bar. It ended up being the right number and he answered it! We ended up going over to Rorys house at 2 in the morning. We were bull shitting and told him that we were trying to find Jeramy. Well he had his number and I think Tabitha was the one who ended up calling Jeramy. I was way to nervous to do it. Jeramy decided to get up and by 3am we were at his house. I remember like it was yesterday the ride over there. I kept telling Tabitha I can't believe that we are going to Jeramy Wilcox's house. We pull up and he is standing outside. It was weird for the first few minutes, but then I told him that he better give me a hug. It was the best feeling in the world. Maybe it was intensified because I was drunk but it felt like I was home...if that makes and sense at all. We stayed up talking outside until 7 in the morning. I told him about my whole life and what I had been doing the last 7 years of my life. I told him about my kids, and how precious they were to me. I told him that I had always loved him and even though we hadn't talked or seen each other for 7 years I had always thought about him. From that morning, March 20,2003 we started talking again. Within 6 weeks I had moved out of the house I shared with my husband and was living with Tabitha. I got a job and a couple of weeks after that I got my apt. Jeramy moved in with me. So we went from not talking or seeing each other for 7 years to living with each other within 2 months. Maybe a month or so after living in our apt. the kids came to live with us. And we started on the road to becoming one little happy family. Jeramy and I have had our little fights but nothing that lasted more than a hour lol.... those really happened the first year or our relationship. I had to learn how to become the April that I was before I was with Kyle. I didn't know how to handle a relationship the right way. For 7 years if there was a disagreement you physically fought it out, you didn't talk like normal adults, you yelled and screamed at each other. I was so insecure about myself I always thought he was up to no good. It took me a long time to let all of that go and be secure in myself and in my relationship with Jeramy. He never once told me you should do this, or you should act like this, or you need to wear this and dye you hair this color. (my ex husband always did that to me because I was never good enough just being April) He let me evolve into the person I always was inside. I went back to my roots and my beliefs and Jeramy was there all along supporting me and loving me for who I was. He went from being a single 25 year old man to being a daddy to Zane and Zoei and my "husband" within 2 months of us talking again. He never once looked back, or thought what did I get myself into. He jumped in with both feet and he was going to take care of us. He was going to be the daddy that the kids had never had, and he was going to be the husband that I never had. After being together for over three years and the economy going up and down he decided to join the National Guard. Once we knew that he was going to do that we decided to get married. We got married on our four year anniversary, March 20,2009 and on March 24,2009 he was sworn into the Army National Guard. We found out that day that he would be leaving July 20,2009. You can try to wrap your head around it, and prepare yourself for it but when it happens it is a slap of reality. It has been a month since he left and one of the most trying times in my life. I went from living with my parents, to living with my ex husband, to living with Tabitha, and then finally to living with Jeramy. I had never had to be alone especially with two kids. This past month has been full of ups and downs emotionally for me. For once in my life, all of my bills are paid, there is money in savings, my kids are on top of the world, I am on top of the world...... I am married to a man who is willing to do whatever he has to do to provide for our family. He is my soul mate, my best security in this crazy world. I have so much respect for him. To see him step up to the plate and take on responsibility that he didn't have to take on is amazing. I was so use to having to take care of everything myself, and depend on only me to take care of things..... that when he showed me what a real man is all about I was I guess taken back is a good way to put it. I can't wait to see his face again.... I can't wait for that feeling of his arms being around me and feeling like I am home again. I am truly blessed. For me to of been where I was to where I am now is a miracle. I should of been dead on many occasions, but instead I am here today with a life that I have always dreamed of. GOD has always brought me though everything and is the reason I am where I am today. Forever in debt to HIM....

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

letting it all out

Tonight I am missing my husband:

Sitting at the computer listening to sappy old love songs probably isn't good:

Just can't help but listen to them:

I think what got me was my mom called me today to tell me that she got a letter from him. I was so happy that he wrote her back. Not that I didn't think he wouldn't, I was just happy that he did. She called me and said I got a letter from Jeramy, just like I call her every time I get to talk to him, or I get a letter from him. He told her a little about what he was doing, and how things are going. But there are a couple of things that really got to me. First I got cold chills when he told her that he loves putting on the army uniform, that it makes him feel better about himself, and proud of himself. WOW! I am so happy that he see that. I tell him all the time how wonderful he is, and how what he is doing is the most amazing thing ever. But it feels really good to hear him say that he feels that about himself to my mom. He also said that being that far away from the kids and I makes him realize how good of a wife I am and how good of a little family we have......AWE!!!!! I know that he felt that way before he left but you know how it is. When you see someone everyday and talk to them everyday every time you want to you get use to them and you take them for granted. I too am guilty of the same thing. He has told me the same thing when we have gotten to talk and in letters, but hearing him say those words to my mom really hit home. It is so true that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Some of the other things that he said to my mom made me realize how well he knows me. Once again I knew that he knew me, really truly knew the true April, but he said to my mom that I am acting stronger on the phone and in letters than he knows I am. He said something about I will not tell anyone that but he knows it. SO TRUE! I am really good at hiding my feelings when it comes to other people. Not to him, he can look in my eyes and tell me exactly what I am thinking, but other people I tend to hold it in, and not let them really truly close to me. Ya get what I'm saying.... I have my friends and family that know a lot about me, A LOT about me, but still in a way I have a wall built up when it comes to my emotions. I know you are thinking April you let everything and anything out on this blog, which is very true when it comes to anger, or happiness, but not sadness. Maybe it comes from being with my ex husband for so long....even though it has been over 4 years. My growing years as a person was with him and I was always afraid of getting hurt. It never mattered how I felt because he was going to do whatever. So I learned at a real early age to hold it in. So I guess tonight I am just putting it out there. I am truly sad. I miss my best friend more than words can describe. I feel like everything is going wonderful for once in my life, and I can't share it with the one person that I want to share it with. The person who is making my life so easy, who is out there bustin his balls for our family, the one person who deserves to be in all of it, isn't here and I hate that. I go through the motions of the day. Watch Amanda's kids and take care of our kids. I clean all the time trying to keep my mind busy. My sister wrote a comment on Facebook today. I said something about having the kitchen spotless and all the dishes done and it was only 7:15 in the morning. She wrote asking if I was on drugs....which is really funny, but the truth of the matter is I do it so I don't get really down in the dumps. I want so bad to hug him.... to feel his arms around me. He is my security, my rock, the person I go to on everything. I feel like I am on top of the world when we are together and now that he isn't here, I feel lost. I know that I am closer today than I was yesterday, and will be even closer tomorrow to seeing him again. We started off at 73 days and now we are down to 42 days. I really can't believe that he has been gone a whole month...... only one more to go

Perks to being a Military Wife

I seriously think that there are discounts everywhere for Military people. I booked the hotel room and got a 20 dollar discount. I booked the car rental and there is a 10% discount. You can get into sea world for free. Even our cell phone company gives us a 15% discount on the monthly bill..... crazy! I mean being as frugal as I am it is awesome. I guess I didn't realize how many "perks" there were. I knew some of them, but I am just amazed at how many there really are. Grateful is a good word. Grateful for the life I have. I try to keep truckin along and dealing with my husband not being here, and every corner I turn I am amazed with a blessing...... WOW!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Rental Car

Rental Car: Check
Today has been a really eventful day. I got the hotel booked for cheaper than I thought. Love saving money lol I had the thought about renting a car to drive to Kentucky. I kind of toyed with the idea of doing it but kind of brushed it off. I thought I will just fix our car, new tires and such and just take it. The only bad thought I had about it was if the car broke down, what would I do. What if I was in the middle of no where and it decided to break down on me. I would be stranded with two kids, and I would miss the graduation. Like I said I kind of blew it off thinking it wouldn't happen. So I talked to my mom today and we talked about it . She thought it was a good idea to go ahead and rent a car. When we talked I was out walking around with the kids while Zane rode his scooter and Zoei was skating. Well by the time I got home and played with the kids some more, my mom calls me. My dad had looked it up online and found a rental place that would only be 275 for a week. Unlimited miles. After she said that I started looking on the computer and found it. I made the reservations to keep the car. I am going to call them tomorrow to see if they have a military discount..... why not ya know. If you can save it. I am really stoked about all of this. I know that I still have 42 days to do, but I feel like I am getting ready. For once in my life, I can plan something. lol instead of just flying by the seat of my ass, I can really do it. Feels so good. I am so proud of my husband. Without him doing all that he is doing, the kids and I would not be living as good as we are. Without him doing what he is doing, we would still be living paycheck to paycheck. I would be working instead of staying home with our kiddos.... Life was just a lot harder. They say money is the root of all evil, but in all honesty it makes life so much easier. I think as long as you don't blow it all, and you know where to go to give thanks for it, then it's all good. GOD is the reason for all of it. Jeramy is doing the work, but GOD is behind him giving him the strength, energy, mental focus, everything that he needs. Life is really good and I am really really blessed!

Hotel Reserved!

So ever since I found out what day Jeramy was going to graduate on, and when I needed to be up there I have been looking at hotels. Trying to find the best one, the closest one, and the cheapest one. Not as easy as you would think. Especially trying to figure it all out from 900 miles away. Jeramy said that there was a hotel that he could see from his barracks. So I googled and googled and found which one it was. I called them this morning and they said that I could make reservations but only 14 days away, and if there was someone who came in with orders, they would get it first. I started thinking about it and with a call to my momma we decided that it is too big of a risk. If I waited until two weeks before I was suppose to be there, and then they didn't have any rooms, I would be screwed. Just in Jeramy's platoon alone there are 55 guys, and there are four platoons. Think of all of the other family members that are going to be going up there. If I waited that long there and couldn't get a room, all the other ones would be booked up. So I would end up having to go 30 miles away. Jeramy would of been He wanted me to get one as close as I could. Basically the rooms go for 90 bucks a night plus tax. So I asked them if they offered any kind of discount since my husband was in the military. One of the perks I might add. He said that they did, so instead of the room costing me 90 a night plus tax it is only going to cost me 70 a night plus tax. Totally stoked about that. I was looking at another hotel that was a little closer but it didn't have a pool. Well you can't stay at a hotel without a pool ya know. So I think I made the best decision based on the tools that I had. I am glad to get that part of it out of the way. Then this week sometime Seth, the wonderful Seth who bailed me out of the inspection, is going to fix my starter and put new spark plugs on for me. After that the only thing that I have to do is get new tires..... Everything is coming together and I am so happy about it.
I emailed Sgt. Lopez and he said that he didn't know anything about being able to take your own ride to AIT. He said that he would take the free plane ride. So I wrote Jeramy and told him what he said. I told Jeramy he should ask his DS there and see what he says. I really hope that we get to do that. It would be awesome to get to spend that time with him. Anyways gotta go watch these kids...

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Our Sunday Part 1

I GOT TO TALK TO MY HUSBAND!!!! I freakin love when I look at the phone and see his battle buddies phone number on there. I get so excited. This time around we only got to talk for about 5 minutes, but I am thankful for that. He did the gas chamber... he said it sucked so bad. It burns your hands, eyes, face... it gets all over your clothes and just sucked he said. He came out with snot down to his chest lol.... Some people threw up but he didn't. He has been sick since he got there, so all of the congestion he had in his chest decided to come out all at once lol.... that is why there was a foot of snot coming out of his nose. They did the wall. He told me at first that he heard it was 75 feet, but come to find out it was only 50. He said that he was freaked out about it at first, but then once he did it, he wanted to do it again. I guess you have to go up there and lay back. You only get to hold yourself up with one hand, they call it your break hand. And you have to go all the way down it. Let's see what else did he say......oh yeah. They had to do a three day course on CPR and stuff. He took his test and only missed one question so he made an 98 on it. YAY!!!! I told him how proud I was of him, he was pretty proud of himself. On Monday they are going to stick people, and learn how to put an IV in. After he does that and passes it, he will be certified. GO BABY GO!!!!! They are going to be going into phase 2 which is white phase next week. More freedom and less getting yelled at by the DS. His platoon is kicking ass though so there isn't much yelling going on. All of the other platoons are getting smoked, and yelled at 24/7. So Jeramy's platoon smokes themselves. They do exercises even when they don't have to. When they have to study, everyone gathers around and does it together. They quiz eachother.... Proud Proud Proud I am of him. He sounds so good, and so positive about it all. He also heard from some of the guys that you might be able to get your own ride to AIT. If that is the case then the kids and I will get to drive him to Virginia! It adds on about 4 more days. It will probably take one day to get him there because it is another 8 hours from Kentucky. Then for us to get back it will be about 2 or 3 days. It's a little over 1300 miles from my front door to Ft. Eustis Virginia...I am going to write SGT. Lopez tonight to find out if that is true, and if so what we need to do to be able to do it.
Oh yeah as of today I am down to 45 days.... I can't freakin wait!

Our Sunday Part 2


It was so much fun! We had a blast. I got sick last Wednesday and really wasn't feeling to hot. On Saturday I look to see when they were leaving Ft.Worth and today was the last day. When I was looking yesterday it was about 3. I was going to buy the tickets online, so I didn't know if you had to print them or not. Well by the time I got over to my moms house, the tickets were sold out. So I went ahead and bought tickets for today. It was a task to get in to say the lease. The lines were so long. I thought we were doing good by getting up there at 2 since the show didn't start until 2:30. Well I was wrong. We should of been there at 1 lol. By the time we waited in line to pick up our tickets, it was after 2:30. The lines went on forever! Anyways we got in and found out seats. I guess they plan on it talking forever for people to get in and get seated, so the show really hadn't started yet. They had a couple of acts, but it was really just the clowns killing time. The show was amazing. I had just as much fun as the kids did. There were three parts that I just loved. They had the motorcycle guys that ride inside that cage. I was scared for them, but it was awesome. Then the tigers and elephants were to die for. I am just so impressed that those wild animals can do those things. It was an fun. It was a good way to spend a Sunday with my kiddos. They loved it, I loved it.....

Saturday, August 15, 2009


I got a letter from my husband today! I always love getting them. He said a few things that bothered me. First he said that he thinks it sucks that he hasn't gotten any letters from his family. He said I have less time than anyone and I write you, why can't they write me. He said I write you even if I don't have anything to say..... I know that Tabitha has written him a letter. He I guess just hasn't gotten it yet. He said that he has 7 letters from me, one from my mom and one from Stephanie..thanks steph for writing him. It really doesn't take that much time to write hey how are you, how is it going, this is what I did today. It is such an escape for would want it if you were in the situation he is in, so why wouldn't you take the time out to do it for him? Don't get that....
He also said something about moving to Virginia while he is there doing his AIT. Basically the army would pay for us to move. He said that he is 50/50 on it. So he left it all up to me. SUCKS!! I would give anything in this world to see him everyday, I would give anything in this world to be where he is.... but as far as my kids it wouldn't be good for them. They would be at Corey for 2 months and then in a school in Virginia for 4 months and then back at Corey for the last 2 months of the school year. With Zane already doing the 2nd grade again it's just not good. Also when he gets back in Feb. there is no telling where he is going to get a job. So there is a chance we could be moving..... I just wouldn't feel good about them going to a bunch of different schools.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Missing my J : (

It's a little after 11 on Friday night. I was uploading some pictures to the computer today and there were so many of Jeramy. I had a crazy dream about him coming home last night well I guess this morning since I didn't fall asleep until after 4am. I don't know where we were living, but I remember seeing him walking down the hall way, and just being in total shock that he was here. Then Amanda showed up to drop of the kids and I told her that I couldn't watch them that day because my husband just got home and I was going to spend time with him lol. Don't really know where all of that came from, or why it played out like that in my dream, but whatever. It was so real I woke up mad that it really didn't happen. So today I have really missed him. In about 40 minutes we will be down to only 46 days. So happy about that, but damn it feels like it is going so slow. In 6 days he will have been gone for a month. That blows my mind. I try to stay positive and keep myself going, but I have my moments and today is one of those days. Maybe because he sent me a letter letting me know all the things that he needed. So yesterday Zoei and I went around and got everything and bought a box to put it all in. We fixed it all up last night and took it to the post office today. The kids said "Mommy, can you put us in the box so that we can go see daddy." AWE!!! I said I wish.... Shit if that was the case I would post myself up in that box and go. I'm trying to remind myself to be positive and think about all of the good that is coming out of us doing this.... A lot easier said than done, but I try. Mentally seeing the glass half full but my heart see's it empty. You would think with the kids getting ready for school, and the shopping and running around that I have to do to get them ready would keep my mind busy and I wouldn't think about it.....
I am really having mixed feelings about something that is going on with someone in the family. I want to spit it all out on here and get it all off my chest, but would it be right, no? I know you are thinking I have never cared before so why now.... but maybe it's because it's my own personal feelings mixed in with some of Jeramy's feeling and I don't know if he wants it all out here... I guess that is the best way to put it. Jeramy and ( ) really haven't talked and that needs to take place before I say anything. Really hard for me to do. My first reaction is to take up for my husband and call this person out on the bullshit and say get your head out of your own ass for once..... I think I will write it all out but leave it as a draft. That way I can get it out but it will just be with me myself and I

Thursday, August 13, 2009


This morning I was looking on our insurance. Can I just say that it feels so good to have it again. I had insurance growing up through my dad. I left my parents house at 17 and got prego 7 months later. So I enrolled in medicaid. They paid for everything with Zane, and 6 weeks after he was born, it was gone. Same thing with Zoei. I was on medicaid and then 6 weeks after she was born it was gone. I have not had insurance since 6 weeks after my daughter was born. (she is now 6 years old) Yes you are right, it means I have not been to the doctor in that long. With the exception of a couple of hospital trips when I screwed up my leg, two times, I haven't been to a doctor. I have an IUD that was put in right after my daughter was born. It has never been checked to see if it is in the right spot. Obviously it is because I haven't gotten pregnant, but the whole yearly ummm "woman checkup", nope haven't been. Anyways now back to my original story lol: I called this morning because when I was looking on the computer it said that my kids had insurance also. Now my ex husband is suppose to carry insurance on the kids... is that ever going to happen, no. So I had it written out in our divorce papers that they could have insurance through medicaid. That way there would never be a time that they needed something and couldn't get it because of insurance issues. When I enrolled in the insurance I only filled it out for me. There was a spot to put the kids, but I didn't fill it out thinking they already have insurance. I called the insurance company this morning and they told me that I had Tricare Prime, and the kids were in Tricare Standard. So I went through a series of questions that I asked her and here is the end result. First of all the insurance is free. There is no monthly cost for active duty family members. Nothing....Zip....Nada.... Second the kids are enrolled in the insurance also but on a different level. Basically if medicaid decides not to pay something, or whatever, we would have to pay a decidable but after that they would cover the rest of it!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously UH-MAZING I am just beside myself. There are so many "perks" to my husband going through what he is going through. Blessed Blessed Blessed is all I can say. Blessed that all of this is apart of the army, blessed that everything is falling into place and going wonderful, but most of all blessed that I have a husband who is willing to do whatever he can to provide for his family. If it was not for him and his want to be the provider in our family, none if this would be happening. I know that GOD has everything to do with it, but Jeramy is "going through" it. If that makes any since to you.......
September I am going to the doctor and I am so stoked about it. No other time in my life have I ever been excited about going, well other than when I was prego with my babies. Jeramy and I have decided to have another baby next year, so I am going to get my IUD taken out. Can my life really be as good as it is right now? Is all this what life is all about? If so I am so glad to finally be here...............

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

I am my mother after all

Today we are down to 49 days!!!!! HELL YEAH!!! I am so happy about that. We started at 73 and now we are down to 49. Stoked about that!
Anyways today we the first day for me to watch Amanda's kids. I so felt like my mom today when I got up. As a kid my mom stayed at home with us and watched kids. That is why I have said all day today, Mirror Mirror on the Wall, I am my Mother after all. It was fun. The kids had someone to play with and it kept them busy. Zoei painted Chole's toes and fingers and put hair glitter in her hair. She brushed it and put it up in a ponytail. Zane played guns, and knife's and wars with Brennon. They got here around 7 this morning, and Amanda picked them up at 1. Works out good. It's a way for me to make money, but I get to stay at home with my kids.
Gotta run for now. I have to go get Zane's meds and go to the post office and get more stamps and mail my sexy ass husband another letter. Oh if you read this blog and want to be a good friend to Jeramy. Write him a letter. He said that it is his only escape from where he is at. Even if it only takes him 5 minutes to read the letter and it says nothing more than what you did for the day, it will be his escape for 5 minutes. It means the world to him.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Amazing end to my Monday

Can I just first of all say thank you to almight GOD above for me being able to talk to my husband tonight. It is so good for my heart and soul.
I left the house around 7:45 tonight. The kids stayed here because I was just going to walmart to pick up some pictures that I had order from the internet. I usually keep Jeramy's phone up my butt because if he does get to call, that is the number he is going to call on. Well I get back home around 8:15. I called to tell the kids that I was home and for them to unlock the door. Zoei said guess what mom I got to talk to daddy. I said what? Then Zane said yeah mom dad doesn't have a toy gun he has a real m-16. So by now I am thinking are you serious. The one time I leave his phone here he calls and I miss it..... so depressed. Zane did say that Jeramy said that he would call me back, but I really didn't know what the situation was or if he would really get a chance to call me back. My mom calls during this and ask me what was going on so I told her that I was so upset. She asked why and I told her. During our converstaion Jeramy calls again. I hang up with her, and answer the phone. My heart is jumping out of my chest just hearing his voice. We get to talk for 17 minutes!! We basically said everything that was important to eachother. Well he does. I am so taken back by just hearing his voice that it's like I forget how to talk. Anyways he said that he had to go report to his duty, but that it would be over at 22:00(he is already using the military time lol) He said that since his platoon was doing such a bad ass job that he would get to call me back after he was done. The DS let them use cell phones tonight. He called me back and we talked again. About everything under the sun...we talked and talked and talked. His whole outlook on life is different. First and formost his outlook on GOD has changed. He said being where he is right now makes you apperciate life, and the things you have and the time that you have with your family. I told him how proud of him I was. I told him that there has never been another man in my life, besides my dad, that would go out of his way to take care of his family. For him to sign up for this at almost 30 years old, put his mind body and soul through the hardest thing he could go through all for the sake of providing for his family is AMAZING! We probably said I love you to eachother 50 thousand times. He told me that I am his rock, and that he misses me so much. He said that he always knew that he would never want to live without me or the kids in his life, but that now he knows that he could NEVER live without the kids and I. He made me cry. I told him that I hated that he was three states away, and I couldn't give him the biggest hug in the world. Words cannot describe how I feel about that man. He is truly my soul mate, my heart, my best friend, my favorite person in the world. I miss him so much! I told him that I feel like my heart and soul is in Kentucky with him. I feel like I am just going through the motions here, but that is all. I so wish I could be in his arms tonight...... so wish I could be there with him. I know that we will make it through all of this and come out on the other side better people because of it....but damn I miss him.........

Saturday, August 8, 2009

So damn proud of him...and we got new phones

So I got our phones in the mail yesterday. They sent them UPS because I did it over the Internet. You know how when you are waiting for something it seems to take FOREVER! I saw on the tracking thing at UPS that it can be delivered anywhere from 9am to 7pm...I am like seriously? So they finally got here around 5 last night. I opened them up and started playing with them. You know how fun it is to get new stuff. When I did it online, I had the option of getting new numbers or porting our numbers that we had into the new phones. Well I ported the old numbers into the new phones. So I called to activate the phones and was on the phone on and off from about 5:45 till 8:45 or so trying to figure all of this crap out. The activation went good, and they said that around 7 the numbers would be ported that I wouldn't have to do anything that it would just happen. Well around 7 the phones turned off and then turned back on again all by themselves. Weird but ok.... I thought the numbers had been ported. Well I tried to call Jeramy's new phone from my new phone and it said that it wasn't a working number. So then I tried calling my phone from Jeramy's phone and it never rang. It would go to voicemail and never let me know that anyone had called. Got back on the phone with sprint and after about an hour on the phone they figured out that the phones had not been ported all the way. Text msg. were working, and I could call people with my phone but nothing else was working. I was really pissed off because Jeramy only calls on his number. That was the number saying it was no longer a working number...UGH! I was like I am going to be so pissed off if by chance he gets to call tonight, and he gets that message. So after being pissed off, I decided just to go to bed, hoping that it would be fixed this morning...Guess what....It was fixed!!!! Jeramy's phone number doesn't say it's no longer working, my phone actually rings when people call it... Life is good!
I looked at Jeramy's thing yesterday and let me just say how blessed I am. Never in a million years would I have thought that I would be sittin as pretty as I am right now. GOD has really blessed our little family. I am so thankful that I have a husband out there bustin his butt making a living for our family. Everything that he is going through right now is just to be able to take care of us. In one of his letters to me he said that me and the kids are his fuel to keep him going. That everytime he is like wft? , he just thinks of us and keeps going. Proud is an understatement of the feelings that I have towards him. Lovin my Life right now..... Oh yeah guess what : ONLY 53 MORE DAYS TILL I SEE MY HUSBAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Thursday.... 55 days until.....

In 55 days I get to see my husband!!! Yes I am going to count every minute of every day until the day I see him. Let's see what has happened over these past few days.. Monday I got to send my letters to Jeramy. I was totally stoked about that. Tuesday Zoei and I went out to lunch with Gammie, my mom and sis in law, Melissa and melody. We went to the cheese cake factory. Pretty good. They give you A LOT of food! Then Tuesday night my mom watch the kids and I went to G's with Rachelle, Shannon and Sarah. Got pretty drunk. I really can't keep up like I use to lol.... I guess laying off of drinking for a few weeks really makes your tolerance go down! Felt sad coming home to an empty house. I use to be able to call Jeramy and tell him to walk outside and watch me walk up, or I could call him and say I am on my way home but I'm stoppin by Taco Bell, want anything. He would always say yes, so him and I would sit up at 2 in the morning eating tacos bullshittin..... But instead I got myself a taco and came home and ate it by myself..... BOOOO!! Anyways Wednesday my mom took the kids swimming and I just hung around the house. I decided Wednesday night that when I finished my last cig, that I wasn't going to buy anymore. So I smoked my last one at 8:45 ish last night. It is now 6:10 and I still haven't broken down and bought any. Really proud of myself!!! I am going to try my hardest to give it up. Jeramy has no choice but to stop smoking. I don't want to be the reason that he starts up again. After him being in Kentucky for 10 weeks, and then going to Virginia for 18 weeks, there is no reason for him to start up again ya know. You are done with your body thinking that you need it, you are done with the cravings... done with it all.... Anyways, I am going to go hang with the kids. Still feel like crap, but I think that it is because I'm not smoking... my body is going through what the crap is going on.... I have been smoking since I was 13 years old.... with the exception of when I was prego with Zane, I quit for the last 3 months... But picked it right back up again. So in a round about way I have been smoking for 13 years.... WOW!!!!!! Crazy!!

Monday, August 3, 2009

Officially two weeks in

Today is the official two week mark. YAY for that! Now only eight more to go.... I didn't go to work today. I took care of a lot of crap that I had to get taken care of. I filled out all of the paper work for my insurance, then had to go to my moms house to print it all off. Then Zoei and I went to Kinko's and faxed it in. So I should have insurance September 1st.... YAY!!! After that Zoei and I went to the post office and I finally got to send out all of the letters for Jeramy. I asked him how much it cost to over night the letters, he said 17.50...can you believe that? So we just made it priority mail so he should get it Wednesday or so...
Jeramy wrote me and told me that he gets to use a cell phone in AIT, so he wants me to get new cell phones. Not metro pcs, but something else so that we can use them anywhere. I was thinking Sprint because they have the most minutes and unlimited text messages for the cheapest price. It will be about 30 or 40 more a month for the bill, but we can use it anywhere. With the money that he is making right now it won't be that big of a .... thank GOD for that! Anyways it's almost 10, I am going to go watch tha tube in my room~ peace out

Sunday, August 2, 2009


As you all know I finally got another letter from Jeramy that actually has his address on it. Thank the LORD! I feel like he has all these questions and is so out of the loop with everything that is going on, and now I finally get to fill him all in. So excited about that. You are probably wondering about the picture above. Well, Zoei wanted to take pics of me since Jeramy wanted more. We all know that April is not shy when it comes to taking pics of herself. So I took a couple, and Zoei wanted to take a couple. So she took many pics, and I didn't realize that my cover up was so far down on the boobies until I put the pics on the computer. Of course I would choose this one as one to send to Jeramy because, well the obvious. But he can't have any how should I say this "graphic material". I do have clothes on, and i'm not posted up on the bed with whips and chains ya know... what do you think, will this get him in trouble? I hope not.
Anyways, tomorrow will make two weeks since he has been gone. It is flying by but going so slow all at the same time. I am so thankful that two weeks have already gone by and there are only eight more to go. Sounds good when you say it like that, but if you really think about it that is 2 months away, we are talking 59 days people. I know that each day that passes brings me closer to seeing him. In the letter he sent me it had a web site on it that shows what company he is in, and everything like that. So I got to reading it and it was talking about Family Day and Graduation. On Family day, you get to sign for your soldier at 10am for an on post pass, then they have to sign themselves back in at 6pm. So that day we will get to spend 8 hours together. Then graduation is the next day at 9am. After graduation you only get 15-20 minutes to say good-bye to them. It says that after you get that time that they go and get on a bus to go to their AIT training. He is graduating on Friday Oct. 2nd, but doesn't have to report for AIT training until Monday Oct.5th. Why would he have to leave on Friday... doesn't make since to me. If anything, we will sit up at the airport with him until he has to get on his plane. I read a couple of post from people who have been through it all at Ft. Knox and one person said that his family sat at the air with him for four or five hours. Who knows how it will all happen. I heard you get a 36 hour pass after you graduate, and then I have heard you only get 15-20 minutes..... Hopefully it's 36 hours... I need A LOT of time with him!!!

About Me

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Welcome to the wonderful life of me! I am married to my best friend, my soul mate, my right hand man, the love of my life and we have been blessed with 3 beautiful Z kiddos. Jeramy and I have known each other since we were 14 &16, and have been married for 5 years. He is in the Army and I get to be a stay at home mommy :) We have had our ups and downs, life hasn't always been peaches and cream, but we are blessed!