Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Can't believe i'm four months....


I really can't believe that I am already 4 months into this pregnancy. It just seems like time is going by so fast. When I stop and think about this baby will be here in 24 weeks I get a little nervous. Not because I'm not ready physically or mentally but because we have NOTHING for this baby at all. I won't buy anything until I know if it's going to be Zachary or Zeelynn, but still I feel like we are getting down to the nitty gritty. I go back to the dr April 7th for my four month check up and hopefully he will schedule me a sonogram for that next week. I think I am going to get down on my hands and knees and beg him lol. Patience has never been a virtue of mine at all, I can't even bullshit and say maybe a little bit. I have never had any and know that it will never come. So me having to wait to find out what this baby is, it's killing me. There is a facebook thing for expecting mommies that I am apart of. No grant it most of those ladies are high risk. They have gone through many miscarriages or still births or going full term and then going into labor and having a cord accident and the baby dying. I know that is why they get to have so many sonograms, and if I was in their position I would want one every other week also. But they are all finding out what they are having. My niece Mary just found out she is having a baby girl, my cousin Meaghan just found out she is having a baby girl also, so it just makes me want to know that much more. My dad keeps saying that I am having a boy. I went over to my grandma's house the other day with my mom and she told me to stand up and turn to the side and she thinks I'm having a boy. I won't be surprised if the dr says we are having a boy. All the gender predictions I have done have said a girl. If you go by the old wives tales with the heart rate it says a girl. The Chinese predictor says girl. I was curious if it was true or not so I went back and put in the times I was pregnant with Zane and Zoei and it said boy and then girl. I put in when my sister got pregnant with Daegan  and it said boy for her.....but I won't be surprised if when we go in for the sono they say look at those balls lol....ok they won't say it like that but you know what I mean. Every night when I got to sleep Jeramy rubs my belly and says good night my girls.... his is just him wanting a girl. I have asked him if he feels one way or the other and he said I know it's a baby that's it. He hasn't had any dreams, or doesn't lean one way or the other. I had one dream about the baby and it was a boy. But who knows.....I am such a planner and want to know what's going to happen when it's going to happen and how it's going to happen. I know with a pregnancy you never really know what's going to happen but you get what I'm saying. I want to have the bedding picked out and clothes hanging up in her/his closet. I want to start calling it Zeelynn or Zachary not just "it". lol.... 
Maybe me having to wait anther two weeks is God's way of teaching me patience?????

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Happy Birthday Zoei Cole

I can't believe 7 years ago today my Zoei Nicole was born. Today I just sat back in amazement at the little lady she has become. Her birth was an eventful one. I won't go into details, we will just say it was an experience above and beyond just giving birth. After being induced at 10 in the morning, she made her grand entrance at 7:13pm. She weighed 7lbs 5oz and was 19 inches long. She was mostly bald, and came out looking tan as hell. I believe it is fair to say that she has been a hand full since the day she was born. She is my child that cried just to hear herself cry, my child that would throw up in the middle of the night just so I could change the sheets lol....I know she couldn't control that part, I just like to blame it on her. Zoei is so smart and catches onto things so easily. She is definitely going to be my pay backs for not only everything I did, but everything I thought about doing as well. I love that little girl more than words will ever be able to describe. She has brought so much joy into my life, and I can't imagine my life without her. So here's to you Zoei Cole....Happy Happy Happy Birthday baby girl. You are such a beautiful little girl and I know you are going to do great things with your life. The sky is the limit baby girl!!!!

Sunday, March 21, 2010

recipe #2 accomplished, recipe #2 a hit!!!!



Okay so maybe this whole cooking new things isn't as bad as I always thought it was going to be. I have always been afraid of doing it because what if it taste like crap....what if I screwed up something and it was nasty? Maybe it's being home all day long, maybe it's being pregnant I don't really know but I have his new thing up my butt with trying new dinners every night. The first night I make spicy chicken skillet and everyone loved it. Well, Jeramy and I loved it, the kids were a little iffy about it but it's because it was something new ya know. Tonight I made pork chop bake and it was once again a hit at my house. I just got the picture off the internet because my batteries are dead in my camera. But basically you mix brown sugar, mustard and baked beans together and then lay the pork chops on top of it. Cut up some onions and lay it all around then over it and cook it for an hour and half. I made some mashed potatoes, salad and rolls to go with it. The kid had their pork chops gone by the time Jeramy and I sat down and buttered our rolls....Jeramy said, baby I think it's a hit with the kids lol. It was pretty good I have to admit! I asked Jeramy what he thought about it as I was cleaning up dinner and he said I loved that whole meal, all of it! So I will def be making it again at my house! WHOOOO HOOOOOO GO APRIL!!!!

Saturday, March 20, 2010

two of my new favorite songs....

Everybody keeps telling me I'm such a lucky man,
Lookin' at you standing there, I know I am.
Barefoot beauty with eyes that blue,
Sunshine sure looks good on you, I swear.

Oh I can't believe I finally found ya, baby.
Happy ever after, after all this time.
Oh there's gonna be some up and downs,
But with you to wrap my arms around, I'm fine.

So baby, hold on tight.
Don't let go!
Hold on to the love we're makin',
'Cause baby when the ground starts shakin'
you gotta know, when you got a good thing.

You know you keep bringin' out the best in me,
And I need you now, even more than the air I breathe.

You can make me laugh when I want to cry.
This will last forever, I just know.

I know!

So baby, Hold on tight.
Don't let go!
Hold on to the love we're makin',
'Cause baby when the ground starts shakin'
you gotta know, when you got a good thing.

We got a good thing, baby!
Whoa!

So Hold on tight.
Baby, don't let go!
Hold on to the love we're makin',
'Cause baby when the ground starts shakin'
you gotta know
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I know that the bridges that I've burned along the way
Have left me with these walls and these scars that won't go away
And opening up has always been the hardest thing
Until you came

So lay here beside me, just hold me and don't let go
This feeling I'm feeling is something I've never known
And I just can't take my eyes off you
And I just can't take my eyes off you

I love when you tell me that I'm pretty when I just wake up
And I love how you tease me when I'm moody, but it's never too much.
I'm falling fast, but the truth is I'm not scared at all
You climbed my wall

So lay here beside me, just hold me and don't let go
This feeling I'm feeling is something I've never known
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
And I just can't take my eyes off you
And I just can't take my eyes off you, off you, off you

So lay here beside me, just hold me and don't let go
Oh, this feeling I'm feeling is something I've never known
And I just can't take my eyes off you
And I just can't take my eyes off you

A year ago today....the love story


I really can't believe it has been a year ago today we were married...I just feel like time has flown by so fast. Maybe that is because Jeramy was gone for 8 months of the year, or maybe it is because I have been having the time of my life??? Let's re-cap the Jeramy and April love story just for good times:
Jeramy and I met Feb. 21,1997 at young jr high. Why you ask do I remember the exact date, two reasons. One because for some reason weird things like that stick in my brain, and two it was my sisters 11th birthday. (crazy that she is now 24) Anyways, we talked for a little bit until my mom showed up to pick me up from school. I didn't give him my phone number thinking I would see him again on Monday. After I got home I regretted not giving it to him, but in my defense he didn't ask lol. Much to my surprise, Jeramy and Rory went home and looked up my  phone number in the phone book and Jeramy called me that night. After a few hours of talking on the phone he asked me to "go out with him". (you know that was the slang back then LMAO) From that day forward we were inseparable. We got into some trouble together (doing things normal teenagers do)  and my mom though she could keep us apart. It worked some of the times, but she didn't know that instead of walking up to Young to see me everyday, he would walk up to Boles to see me.... Anyways we had some up and downs during that time. Typical 14 and 17 year olds who think they know everything about life and what it has to offer. In December of 97 we broke up for good. That is when all hell broke lose in my life and we like to call it me joining the circus for 7 years of my life. The only good thing that came out of those seven years were the births of my children. Other than that, it was a bunch of heart ache, drama, and me learning how low down and dirty people can really be. 
My ex-husband got put in the hospital Dec. of 04. He was there for a little over two weeks and it was during that time that I didn't have him up under my ass that I realized I was not where I wanted to be in my life. I had known for a long time I wasn't in a good spot, but I always thought, April you made your bed, now you have to lay in it. I always thought that my kids needed their mom and day together no matter how much I didn't want to be there, I was going to stay there for my kids. Fast forward to March 05. It had been three months of me going back and forth do I leave or do I stay..... Let me say that during the 7 years I was with my ex husband I had always had "the Jeramy blues" is what we called it. My mom and I had found where he was living a left a note on his car, we had talked a couple of times during that time, but not more that 5 minutes and hadn't seen each other at all.  So March 05 my partner in crime, my best friend since 7th grade and I went out for drinks. We started talking about Jeramy as we were getting really drunk. Shot after shot, beer after beer, we were doing it big that night lol. We got the phone book at the bar and looked up Jeramy's best friend Rory. He was the guy that introduced Jeramy and I way back at young jr high. We knew that if we found him we could find Jeramy. Now if you know Rory, you know that he never had the same number for a very long time. We found the number in the phone book and Tabitha called it. I was too chicken shit and somehow reverted back into a gitty little 14 year old girl. Tabitha called and Rory answered the phone. She asked if she could speak to Rory and he asked who it was, I think she said it's Jennifer or some shit like that....LMAO!! He was like who, so she asked if it was Rory and he said yes, so she said it's Tabitha. He remembered her because they had dated at the same time Jeramy and I were dating. Anyways she told him what we were up to and he let us come over to his house at 2 in the morning.When we got to his house, he called Jeramy. Jeramy had been up all night long drinking. Tabitha got on the phone with Jeramy and told him that I was there and really wanted to see him. So he decided to get up and we were off to Jeramy's house at 3 in the morning. Rory wouldn't even ride with us because we were so drunk, so we rode in Tabitha's truck and followed Rory. On the way to his house I kept telling Tabitha I can't believe we are on our way to Jeramy Wilcox's house. I was drunk and beside myself with excitement and nerves. When we got to Jeramy's house all of that went away and we just picked up like nothing. We sat outside on the tail gate until the sun came up. That night I told him that I had always loved him, always thought about him. And he said the same thing pretty much. He told me that he had never met another girl that ever measured up to me. No one that he ever "clicked" with. I told him also that night that I had two kids that were 1 and 3 and they were my world. Found out that he didn't have any kids so I told him that he couldn't accept the fact that two kids were going to be involved, if he didn't want anything to do with that, then we needed to leave everything alone and I would go my way and he could go his way. He said that me having two kids would never change the way he felt about me. 
3 weeks later I had moved from Gun Barrel City back to Arlington and was living with Tabitha and Carl. 3 weeks after that I had my own apartment and Jeramy, me, Zane and Zoei were living together. It amazed me at how fast the kids latched on to him, and how fast he opened up his heart and loved them like they were his own kids. We have since had conversations about that and he has told me that at first he loved the kids because they were apart of me and him loving me ment he had to love my babies. But as time went on he built his own relationship with them and loves them as his own kids. He doesn't even think about Kyle being their sperm donor....they are his kids in his mind. In our first few years of being together I did a lot of growing and learning. I had to re-learn how to trust, how to deal with fights without having a knock down drag out fights, everything about life I had to re-learn. Jeramy never once said you need to do this or you need to do that, he just let me grow and become April again. I had really lost who I was and what I wanted out of life and Jeramy let me find myself again and loved me through the whole process. 
May of 08 we were out at Shirlock's in arlington celebrating Jeramy's birthday. Somehow our drunken selves got to talking about marriage. Listen to how romantic this is. Jeramy was talking about money and if we had more of it he would ask me to marry him. Then he looks at me and says. " fuck it, April will you marry me" 
LMAO!!! I saw WHAT??? Then he got on his knee and asked me like a gentleman. Thank goodness my partner in crime Tabitha was there again and she took a picture of it. Anyways, we were going to get married on our four year anniversary but as the time got closer and closer we decided to put it off another year because we had not saved any money or planned anything. Then Jeramy decided to join the Army and we decided to get married before he joined so that left us 20 days to plan the wedding.... Love how my wedding turned out, wouldn't change anything about any of it. We got married at River Legacy Park and had our reception at Saltgrass. Then we had our second reception at G's (that was for all our friends who weren't done partying with us yet) 
As I sit here and re-live the last 13 years of my life I realize how blessed I am. I would of never thought my life would turn out this way, words can't describe how thankful I am it did. I look at Jeramy and I am amazed at the man he has become. He is an amazing father to Zane and Zoei  and I know he will be just as amazing to the new little bun in the oven. He is truly my soul mate and best friend. He loves me for me, I don't have to be this person or that person, I can be the true April and he loves every bit of it. I am so secure in his arms and in our relationship. There is not a doubt in my mind that I am where I should be in my journey of life. 

Jeramy got me roses for our anniversary and a card. The card says : You're everything to me, To be married to a lovely woman who is also my best friend is a blessing. To be married to a beautiful woman who just so happens to be the great love of my life is a miracle. You are my blessing, my miracle, my everything, my wife. Happy Anniversary.... Then he wrote a little something on the bottom.... Yes it made me cry!! 

Friday, March 19, 2010

GO APRIL GO APRIL !!!!!! WHOOOOO HOOOOOOO



                                   Spicy Skillet Chicken

I know you are thinking did she really take a picture of what she made, and the answer is yes! The picture doesn't do it justice, it looks crazy here, but damn it was good!!! The kids weren't too crazy about it, they don't like anything out of the "norm". but whatever Jeramy and I loved it! I was pretty impressed with myself I have to say. I am always so nervous about cooking new things because you never know if it is going to taste good or not. But I figured I was never going to try anything new or learn how to cook anything new if I didn't start somewhere. It helps that the first thing  I made turned out really good! I will defiantly be making this again!!!!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

hearts content



I just have to say that I am so truly blessed and love where I am in this journey called life. Words will never be able to describe how content my heart is right now. Yes I could stress over this and that, but why?? We went to Dallas today for Jeramy to talk to a guy about a job. He is trying to find something to do until the state trooper classes start in June. Anyways the drive out there was stressful as hell. The kids are on spring break this week so they didn't want to be in the car, they would of much rather been out playing with their friends, and Daegan had a mental break down!! He didn't want you to hold him or put him down, he didn't want to eat or have his paci.....just wasn't happy at all. Anyways Jeramy decided he was too hungry to wait for me to go to the grocery store and cook so Tyler met us up at Campo Verde and picked up Daegan. We ate and had a blast talking and joking around. On the way home we cranked up the radio and all sang the songs. I sat in the front seat and just thanked God for my life. Hearing my husband and kids sing at the top of their lungs, and laugh like there is no tomorrow made my heart just smile. LOVE LOVE LOVE my life!!! Who would of ever thought I would be in this situation, I sure as hell never did. This thing we call life is amazing and can't believe I chose to miss out on so much of it for so long.......

Saturday, March 13, 2010

qutoe


Love this quote. I think sometimes we get so wrapped up in our own lives that we don't realize how much we might be stepping on someone's toes.... I am guilty of it just as I know some other people are guilty of it. Thinking before we speak.......

accomplished

So I def feel accomplished this week. We have moved all the big things from the old house to the new one. We still have to go back this weekend and get the toy box , little nick knacks, and the mound of clothes. We have to turn in the keys on Monday so our goal is to get it all done this weekend. The kids love the new house. They made friends within five minutes of being here. The people who live next to us have a house full of kids. I am glad it was an easy transition for them, and the new place has enough room for the new baby...well with that being said I need to go finish the last load of laundry I have here. (Oh did I mention my washing machine and dryer are out of storage!!!!!!!!!!!! NO MORE LAUNDRY MAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Peace out!!!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

house....

 
As you all know we were served with papers on Tuesday from an attorney. They said Citibank is the new owners of the property because the old owners let it go into foreclosure, and we had until the 19th of March to move out. As I read the contract it said that if we were out by the 19th they would give us 1000 upfront, and then 2500 additional after we moved out. The amount goes down the more time we stay here. Technically we have until the 27th of April but if we wait that long they won't give us any compensation. So Tuesday I was in a panic. If you remember, we were going to plan on moving out by the end of Feb. but then decided against it. We figured since we already knew what our bills are here and that they would be paid regardless how long it took Jeramy to find a job, we would just stay here. Give Jeramy some time to find something and then move out. Well that all got thrown to the side Tuesday morning. The crazy thing is I had filled out an online inquiry about a home. I never heard from the lady but didn't really care because I thought we were going to stay here. Get this....You tell me if this isn't a sign from GOD above. Tuesday, the day we get served the lady calls saying she still had the house. By the time I got to go look at it, it was after hours. So I went Wednesday and actually got to speak with her. Filled out all the paperwork and faxed it over to her. Then she called today saying we had been approved. I can't tell you how much stress was taken off my shoulders. I am a planner, I like to have things in order and know what the next steps are going to be. Crap being up in the air makes me crazy!!!! I can't handle it, I want to pull my hair out. 
To add to the stress of having to move, we had to figure out all of our finances and figure out how in the hell we were going to do it. We all know to move into a new place it's going to cost you atleast 1500 dollars. You have to have the first and last months rent, or the rent and a deposit......Thank God above we had it, we are approved and we are going to move next week. The compensation we get from the property will make up for having to move and then some. I'm still a little stressed because I am pregnant and we have to move. Last time we moved, last April...Jeramy, Tabitha, Melissa and I moved pretty much everything in one day. Tyler my bro in law had to help with the couches and the washer and dryer but other than that we did it all. That won't happen this time. But atleast I can move all the little things. Lord knows I have crosses and pictures and knick knacks for days. I can move the little side tables and things like that.  Anyways it's been a crazy day filled with joy and excitement.... too much for this prego lady, time to hit the sack!

About Me

My photo
Welcome to the wonderful life of me! I am married to my best friend, my soul mate, my right hand man, the love of my life and we have been blessed with 3 beautiful Z kiddos. Jeramy and I have known each other since we were 14 &16, and have been married for 5 years. He is in the Army and I get to be a stay at home mommy :) We have had our ups and downs, life hasn't always been peaches and cream, but we are blessed!