Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Good news dr appt.

So I went to the dr today and got some good news. Last Wednesday I was only dilated .5cm and he flat out told me I wasn't having a baby that week. I went in today and still haven't gained any weight. Holding strong at 25lbs. Pretty crazy because with Zoei I gained 37 lbs. He said she is measuring just right and then he checked me. I am now dilated to a good 2cm and everything is softening up. I will go in next Wednesday and they are going to do a songram to see how big she is and he is going to check me again. Then if I still haven't gone into labor myself he set an induction date of Sept. 8th!!!!! WHOOOO HOOOOO Ashley says she doesn't think I will make it to the 8th, she guessed the 4th. I kind of need her to stay put until the 8th because Jeramy starts his new job Monday and hopefully he will get a full week in LOL. Feels so good to have an end in sight. I know I am down to the nitty gritty and that feels good but to have a date and time set feels good. The thought of going into labor on my own freaks me out. Yes I have had two children but with both of them I was induced. I never dilated with them until I was induced and it took me 10 hours to have both of them. I am already a good 2cm so if I make it to the 8th I can't imagine it taking that long. I told Jeramy that if we plan on it going fast it will take 24 hours and if we plan on it taking a long time, she will be here in a blink of an eye. This day felt so far away for so long and now literally it's 13 days away. YAY YAY YAY!!!! I can't tell you how excited I am to meet this little girl.

Sunday, August 15, 2010


 Don't understand why he thought he could just come back into their lives and there not be any problems. Don't know why he thought he could just come back in like nothing had happened, and he hadn't just disappeared for a year in a half. For the past two weeks my ex husband has been writing my daughter. He tried to be sneaky and add her as a friend on facebook thinking I wouldn't know. He didn't realize that I know everything that goes on with my children, and we have such an open relationship they tell me everything. Giving it a lot of thought I figured I would let her write him back but not add him as a friend. That way she could talk to him, but not see everything that he does. The first few days she cried because she didn't like what I was saying to her. She didn't like not being able to add him as a friend. They talked for a few days and then he fell off the face of the world again. Typical Kyle style. Then a few days ago he finally wrote him back. The tears have been coming more regularly for the last two days. She doesn't understand why I keep him at bay. She doesn't understand when I tell her that he does things and has people around him that I don't agree with and that I don't think kids need to be around. It's such a fine line because I can't look at her and tell her that he drinks everyday, that he still does drugs, that he has the low life's of the world around him. That he got his new baby taken away from him because of the things he does. But me just saying that he isn't a good person isn't enough for her. She wants more answers and more of an explanation of everything. I have always told myself that regardless of Kyle's and my relationship, regardless of how I feel about him I would never project that onto my kids. I have always wanted them to be able to make up their own mind about him when they get older. But with him coming back into her life and talking to her it is putting me in a position where I have to explain things. So how far do I go? Do I go into detail about why he can't be around them, but not as far as how I feel about him? Jeramy said just give her the facts. Let her know what has happened but not put my opinion in it. Oh what to do, what to do???? There really isn't a way for me to not hurt her. I either have to let her cry and wonder why I won't let her see him, or let her cry when I tell her the truth about it all.....  

Monday, August 9, 2010

Makes the heart grow fonder

Can't tell you how much fun I have had with my husband since he got back from his drills. Friday was an eventful. I took Jeramy to meet up with his friend so they could ride together to go to their drills in Houston. Came home and watched Daegan and the kiddos. Ashley came and picked up Daegan and then about 6 the power was knocked out. We stayed here till 7:45 and nothing came back on so the kids and I went over to my moms house. I came back home around 10:30 to check if the power was back on and it still wasn't, so the kids and I slept at my parents house. It was fun hanging out with my mom and the kids. It was a pain in the ass trying to sleep in the same bed as Zane. My kids are such wild sleepers, and my mom keeps her house at a normal temperature so being 9 months pregnant trying to sleep in a different bed with my son, I was miserable. Saturday we came back home and chilled all day long. It was weird not having Jeramy here, especially when I went to bed Saturday night. Zoei slept in bed with me, but it wasn't the same. I was so excited to go pick Jeramy up on Sunday. I finally got him around 7ish. We hung out at the house and he played guns with Zane Zoei and Marco (my third kid). I went to my moms house and got my charger that I left over there. Came back home and Jeramy and I laid in bed, watched TV and talked. He said to me, "I missed you this weekend, I didn't like not having you in the hotel with me, something just wasn't right." Put a smile on my face from ear to ear. Sometimes it feels good to hear that you are missed or that you are needed. I really feel like we re-connected, can you do that after only being gone for the weekend? I think so. Sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder.......

About Me

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Welcome to the wonderful life of me! I am married to my best friend, my soul mate, my right hand man, the love of my life and we have been blessed with 3 beautiful Z kiddos. Jeramy and I have known each other since we were 14 &16, and have been married for 5 years. He is in the Army and I get to be a stay at home mommy :) We have had our ups and downs, life hasn't always been peaches and cream, but we are blessed!