Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Started my new job

Yesterday I started my new job. I can't tell you how much of a boost it is to my self esteem to be back in the working world! Felt so good to have somewhere to go, felt good to get up and get ready, felt good to have to be somewhere by a certain time. Laurie told me to be there by 10. So I got the kids up and ready for school, got myself and Zeelynn ready, and had her dropped off at my moms house by 8:45. I didn't really know what to expect with the traffic so I wanted to make sure I had enough time. I had plenty of time lol, I got there at 9:30! My daddy and husband would be so proud. I really did nothing more than take more test and watch videos. Laurie gave me a tour around the building. It's a lot bigger than I thought it would be. There is an 80,000 sq foot warehouse in the back. It wasn't weird until I got told what kind of situation I was walking into. I figured they just needed to fill a position so I was hired. Well, they do need to fill a position but the girl is still working there!!!! I didn't get to go in the dispatch office because she didn't know she was getting fired. So I really don't know what my days are going to be like. I really have no idea what my duties are. I would of thought they would get the girl out, before bringing me in lol... but what can you do. I just hope I can prove myself and the same thing not happen to me. I feel sorry for the girl losing her job, that sucks! Hopefully she had something else lined up or can find something easily. Yesterday my husband went flying around Kuwait in a Blackhawk, with the Major!! He said they flew around for about 2 hours.... too freakin cool. He is literally having the time of his life in so many ways. Does he miss home, yes...does he miss his family, yes.... but he truly is doing things he will never do again in his life.

Today I got up at 5:45 because Zoei had to be at school by 6:10. She is going on her trip to Austin. Mansfield has just cool field trips. She won't be back until 8:30 tonight. I'm excited for her, I'm sure she will have a blast. Well it is now 7:05, almost time to get my Zane man up and ready for the day.... Praying for safe travels for my girl, hope Zane man has a wonderful day and I hope my mother can stand herself after watching a 3, 2, and 1 yr old!

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Really cool, encouraging words, simply something amazing

Number One:
I was just thinking about how needy i am...a day without Jess and i am crabby...i admire your strength! You hold strong for both your kids and as a devoted wife...makes me realize i need to be more grateful.....thank you for your service (being a devoted mother and wife) and the sacrifice you make so that your husband can protect us! ! ! !
Number Two:
Ray Twitch Too Koal (my ex husband) Im glad they have a good daddy!
Number Three: 
kind of thought of your husband on this one lol
Number Four:
You are so amazing and strong. Every time I get lonely missing my honey while he is at work I think of you. Big hugs Hun. You are both setting an amazing example for your little ones, an example that will last all through their lives. I know being strong is not always easy but you truly embrace it. To see the love you have for your husband is so beautiful. You cherish every second, breath and word and to be witness to that is truly an honour. Just wanted to let you know that you touched a heart over here in Canada
Number Five:
I wish I could find someone and we could have the love that you and Jeremy have...glad u r so happy...love ya

      In awe of people's kindness, of their opinion on my marriage... I don't think I can explain how much all of these words took me back, made my jaw drop. I guess when you get so wrapped up in your own world and what is going on in your day to day life, you don't really think about how your life can impact others. Mine and Jeramy's marriage hasn't been picture perfect and I think that people know that. Our marriage has defiantly had it's ups and downs and I think people know it. I think what people see are two human beings that truly love each other. Tho life has it's curve balls and throws them at you when you least expect it, we have managed to work it all out. Have their been cuss fights that last for hours, yes. Have their been talks of separation and divorce, yes there has been. But it's never happened because there is a bond between us that nothing will ever break. There is a relationship that spans 16 years. There is a spiritual, emotional connection that words can't explain. I love that man with every ounce of my being, and I know, tho he doesn't say it that often, that he feels the same way about me. We both know we would be miserable without the other. I hope and pray that our marriage withstands the test of time, the test of "life" in general... I think if we work at it, make it a point to put our marriage first, we will make it.


Saturday, April 27, 2013

Heart to Heart conversations

It simply amazes me the man I married and how he CAN be so good with words. Jeramy Lee is a many of very few words, but when he's away he makes it a point to tell me things. At times when he is here I feel like I could scream yell talk, whatever and he wouldn't hear what I was saying. When in all reality he hears me, he just doesn't make it a point to do it. With him being away we communicate, true deep down communications. I get to tell him what I try to tell him while he is here and it seems to make sense to him. I don't know if it's because it's the only way we have to talk since there is no physical touch at all, I don't know if it takes him being away from me to realize that he does need to say those things... not really sure what comes over him but it's cool as shit. I love hearing those sweet nothings, I love him telling me things that make me feel loved... It's like I fall in love with him all over again. He's has been so good these past few days. I feel the words through the screen when he says em. I know that I love him, I know that he is my soul mate, just feels really good to be reminded why I fell in love with him so many years ago.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Long, LONG distant relationship

It's amazing to me what being away from the love of your life can actually do for your relationship. It's so easy to get caught up in the mundane day to day life. The routine you have to have because you have children, the job you have to go to everyday because you have to pay bills, the laundry, the dishes, the cleaning of the house, etc. Sometimes it takes something big to realize exactly what you have and why you are still with the person you married. I won't place all the blame on Jeramy because I know that I am guilty of the same thing. We both were comfortable and didn't take the time to make each other feel special. Yes there is a comfort level you have when you have been in the same relationship for 8 years, but the hard thing to do is not become comfortable. There still needs to be some excitement, you still have to have that spark, you still have to connect with each other as tho you were still boyfriend and girlfriend. Like you didn't have children or bills or "life" to deal with on a day to day basis. That is what has happened with Jeramy and I again, we are connecting. Connecting through communication because it's the only thing we have right now, and it is so amazing. The little conversations that last 15-20 minutes are the most meaningful things in my day to day life. He makes it a point to ask me how I am, how my day was... tell me those little sweet things that mean the world to me. It's simply a beautiful thing. I love having that intimate relationship with him again, not physical obviously but that deep down connection. It sucks that he has to be on the other side of the world in Kuwait for it to happen, but I honestly believe sometimes it takes a big thing for it to happen. I love that man with my entire being, my heart my soul... He is the one that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I love him...I miss him... I'm ready for him to come home....

Sunday, April 7, 2013

He made it

So my sexy J finally reached Kuwait. He called me at 8:10 Friday morning, 4:10 his time. He said he had been in Kuwait for about 4 hours. They got there and had to go to one base and sign in with their CAT card, and then go to the base that they are actually staying at. He ate Taco Bell once he got there lol. Jeramy was going to pass out for a couple of hours because at that point he had only had a few cat naps on the plane so basically had been up for 48hrs straight. They ended up giving the Saturday off to sleep and get settled in. They did end up going to the hanger and had a meeting, but other than that it was really laid back. My J is going to be on the night shift, I think will work out better. Less people online when he's awake and he can call me during normal hours here lol. Thank God above for yahoo messenger. I get to see his face :) I miss him like crazy... really hope these months go by fast.

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Jeramy trying to call me the first time we used this: 4.2.13
April Wilcox: shit I hit a button
April Wilcox: do it again
The morning I got my present: 4.3.13
April Wilcox: oh my baby... have tears streaming down my face
April Wilcox: the UPS guy just dropped off the present you got me
April Wilcox: guess you can call me, it's saying your not answering
The first time I got to talk to him after he left US soil: 4.4.13
April Wilcox: Hi my baby!!!
April Wilcox: oh I can't tell you how good it was to see the messenger say you were online
April Wilcox: no... let me try to call you
       You have accepted the invitation to start Video Call.
sexy J: OK
April Wilcox: right when I said let me try to call you , your call came through but then went away, I just tried but it said you didn't answer...lemme try again
April Wilcox: guess you can try again... it keeps saying you aren't answering
sexy J: yes it wont let me do it
sexy J: so what are you doing
Since the internet sucked so bad I left him a message telling him I loved him: Call ended: 0 min, 25 sec.  (11:30 AM)
April Wilcox: waiting for you to call lol
April Wilcox: was debating on whether to take zee to daycare or not because I didn't want to miss you, and as soon as I left Tonya called and said y'all were in Ireland and that you would be able to call
sexy J: yes we are in Ireland
sexy J: are you at home
April Wilcox: yes baby
sexy J: cool we have a 6 hour lay over here then 6 hours flight to Kuwait
April Wilcox: have you gotten any sleep? how was the flight?
sexy J: so there is a line for the phones so will call you in a little bit if a can
April Wilcox: God I hope you can...
April Wilcox: do you think it's just the internet connection? Tonya said Ponder was going to skype her..do you know if his is working?
sexy J: not much sleep a all the flight was good 9 hours t Ireland
sexy J: inter is really bad
April Wilcox: damn.. I was looking at the maps last night seeing how far you had to go
sexy J: don't know were ponder is
sexy J: just paidd 16dollars for a coke and blt
April Wilcox: oh ok..Tonya and I have been texting and talking all morning
April Wilcox: Holy shitballs?? 16 buck??
sexy J: i cant even get on the inter like facebook
April Wilcox: really? You would think that would work there... are you in a damn cave? lol
JWilcox did not answer your video call invitation. Please try again later.
sexy J: i am in Shannon Ireland in the airport
April Wilcox: it's just crazy to me that you are in Ireland...this is going to be an experience of a lifetime baby
sexy J: so how are you doing
April Wilcox: better right now than I have been in the past 12 hours... you know what talking to you does to me, calms me, wish I could see you but I'll take what I can get
sexy J: yes it is
sexy J: i here that
April Wilcox: so how are you my love?
sexy J: i am good this inter sucks battery is going to run out
April Wilcox: no where for you to plug it in?
sexy J: need a adapter to use the plugs here on this side of the world
April Wilcox: are you serious?
April Wilcox: that fucking sucks
sexy J: yes different plugs
sexy J : will be fine on base
April Wilcox: never even thought about that shit
April Wilcox: Americans know how to do it right lol
sexy J : yes
April Wilcox: looked up the airport while we're talking and it looks pretty small
April Wilcox: you better take pictures with the phone lol
sexy J: yes i think it is small
sexy J is typing...
sexy J: wise i could have a beer from here this is were Guinness is from
April Wilcox: lol right!! Sucks you can't
sexy J: well what can you do
sexy J has signed out. (4/4/2013 12:08 PM)
April Wilcox: I guess nothing... I love you baby

The internet sucked so bad it drained his battery fast. I sent the I love you message right as it was telling me he was gone :( This is the last conversation I will have with him until he is settled in. Well I guess if he gets the chance to use the phones later on he will call.

Once again this isn't my husbands unit but it's soldiers in the same airport my husband is in and with a 6 hour layover, I'm sure the scene looks something like this lol. Loved seeing it say he was online, God I can't describe that feeling.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Oh Lord Jesus, here we go

(This pic isn't my husbands unit)

Jeramy called me at 7:20 tonight and said they were currently on lockdown. The vans/buses were going to pick them up at 9 to take them to the airport. He said they were going to be staying in tent city for at least 2 weeks so talking was going to be very limited. :( makes me sad... I'm excited for him, for the experience he is about to go on, but I want him here with me. Jeramy said they were going to fly from the airport to Maine, then from Maine to Ireland and then on to Kuwait. I don't know when because he didn't know flight times or anything like that. Basically they were on stand by and were only given bits of information. Going to keep this open because I want to document everything that is going to happen on his journey there.

It's now 8:20 Thursday morning. Jeramy called me last night around 11:30 and said they were at the airport and the planes were getting loaded up. They are going to be in the tents for a couple of weeks, I just hope he has a way of letting me know he's ok. Tonya, she will be my partner in crime throughout this whole ordeal, her husband is deploying with Jeramy. We basically agreed in a non verbal way, just through an understanding of how crazy this year is going to be, that we would have each other's back. I dig the chick, I think we think alike in a lot of ways... hopefully either Jeramy calls me or Chris calls her so we know something, this waiting game fucking sucks!
Lord, thank You for this soldier
So courageous and so strong
And for Your surrounding presence
As he leaves us for so long
Though he’ll be far away
I know that You are with him still
And that nothing will befall him
Apart from Your good will
Lord, please comfort this soldier
As he climbs aboard his flight
And travels to a far land
To fight for what is right
Strengthen him and guide him
In what he must do each day
Lord, be his protection
When he is in harm’s way
Bless him with good buddies
For when the going’s tough
And please remind him always
That Your love is enough
Lord, please bring home this soldier
But if it may not be
Remind us that he’s home with You
For all eternity
I can't tell you how excited I was to see this man's face! He bought me this laptop before he left. :) He didn't tell me where he was going or what he was doing but surprised me with this laptop and printer. Made me feel so special, not because it's a material object but because he thought of me, did something just to make me smile. Anyways he called me yesterday and said that one of the other soldiers told him that he and his wife talk/video chat with yahoo messenger. So I downloaded it and figured it all out and got he and I set up. I sent him a text message telling him that it was all ready so he went to the MWR and called me from it. Seeing his face put the biggest smile on my face. Needed to see him. While he is away this will be the best thing. I may not get to touch him or hold him or kiss him or smell him or...etc. But if I get to see those baby blue eyes staring back at me, I'll make it. Will it be hard hell yeah, will it be worth it in the end, yes.... Love you Wilcox

My surprise...

So, you remember me telling you that Jeramy called and said he bought me something. Well there was a knock at the door this morning, I opened the door and it was the UPS guy. I signed for the box and he handed it to me and said here you go sweetheart.

I will be honest and say that I took my time opening it. I was very methodical, took pictures of it all. It's one of those sentimental things. He took the time to pick it out and send it so I wanted to enjoy every minute of it. I opened the brown UPS box and this cute box was inside.

I opened the cute box and crocodile tears came rolling down my face. It's a water globe with an arch you stand under when you get married with wedding rings on it. There is a spot to put pictures in it with the word Forever in it. I was able to print off two of my favorite wedding pictures and put them inside of it because of the printer he bought me before he left.

He had it engraved with: "April, You complete me Always and Forever"
When I say that tears were rolling down my face, it's an understatement. Precious, absolutely amazing, totally unexpected.
Then the man behind it all called literally 5 minutes after I took it all out of the box. My nose was red, tears rolling down my cheeks. All I could tell him was "it's perfect" Is the gift priceless yes in so many ways. To me it's not the monetary value of it, it's the fact that he thought of me. It's the fact that he put time and effort into doing something for me because it would make me smile. I felt so special. I can honestly say that this past year has been the hardest between he and I. Relationship wise, we weren't there. Sucks that it takes him going away for the next year for us to realize what we have but it's exactly what happened. I believe God above knew exactly what he was doing. Not a doubt in my mind. I will wait for forever for him because in all honesty, I just want him to show me that he loves me like I know he does. There isn't a doubt in my mind on whether or not he loves me, it's just a matter of getting him to show it on a regular basis.  Love him and absolutely can't wait for him to come home...

Monday, April 1, 2013

My baby is going to surprise me....

So my husband calls today and surprises me. When he came home last week, he forgot to take back his PT shoes. Today he had to go to the PX and get some more. He was telling me how much they were, wasn't too bad. So I said it's okay babe, can't do anything about it, you have to have them. Then he said well I bought you something too. I said you did? He said yeah but there are some rules... of course my curiosity is peeked. The rules are I have to be home Wednesday and if it doesn't come then I have to be home Thursday. No big deal not like I do anything anyways. And I'm not allowed to look at the bank account. He said it's not that he cares how much it was, but he doesn't know how it's going to read and he doesn't want anything to give it away. So I have to be a good girl and not look. I won't because if he went through the trouble of buying it and shipping next day or priority, then I want to be surprised. I can't tell you how excited I am. I wouldn't care if it's just a letter saying I love you... Love the fact that he's thinking about little things like that, makes me smile, makes me feel special, makes me feel loved. No it's not the material things, it's the effort he's putting forth

Last day with him, the ride home and day 1


The Wilcox Family, Easter Sunday 3.31.13
The Love of my Life

About Me

My photo
Welcome to the wonderful life of me! I am married to my best friend, my soul mate, my right hand man, the love of my life and we have been blessed with 3 beautiful Z kiddos. Jeramy and I have known each other since we were 14 &16, and have been married for 5 years. He is in the Army and I get to be a stay at home mommy :) We have had our ups and downs, life hasn't always been peaches and cream, but we are blessed!